Taking Control, Becoming Empowered

I had an appointment with the urologist a couple of days ago so that we could discuss the results of the Urodynamics Study. I went into the appointment with sort of a wall up because I already had lost all trust in this physician. I intended to listen to what he had to say but I also had previously made an appointment with a different urologist so that I could get another opinion. Therefore, in a way I felt like what he had to say wouldn’t really make a difference in the long run but that it may give me something to go on when I met with the new urologist.


The urologist told me that the ultrasound did show a small fragment of stone remaining but that it was not obstructive and as such was not the cause of my discomfort. He also said that my urodynamics study was surprisingly normal and so nothing was really wrong. He said the fact that I am not on any medication, though odd for someone with a neural tube defect; seemed to be fine for my body. I then questioned why I was still having back pain, in the same place that to me has always signaled a kidney problem. The urologist said that my kidney is fine and so my pain is probably due to a sore muscle. He suggested that I begin icing it and taking over the counter painkillers, as I would for any other type of muscle strain or spasm. I told the urologist that I really don’t feel like it is a muscle problem but that I would give his suggestions a try because it couldn’t hurt.


Before I left, I told him that I did want to give him some feedback about something that had happened awhile back that I did not have the courage to speak up about at the time. I told him that in the future he might want to avoid making assumptions about what a patient may or may not feel, due to his or her disability. When I said that, he gave me a questioning look so I continued to say that I did in fact have sensation and that I did experience some discomfort when he removed the stent. He then questioned if it was only discomfort or if it was pain. I said that it was discomfort and that if I were in pain I absolutely would have said something right then. He continued to say that it would have been helpful if I had mentioned it at the time but that he understood why I didn’t feel like I could. While I had mustered up the courage to bring up his treatment of me, I did not feel comfortable explaining to him that I had set up an appointment with someone else for a second opinion. I left the appointment after scheduling a time to see him at the end of the summer, although I have no intentions of actually keeping that appointment.


The next day I called the urologist’s office to request that my records be sent to another physician. That was when I met up with all of the HIPAA red tape that requires that these requests be sent in writing. I temporarily panicked when I considered that a letter would need to go through the mail and that, in combination of the office staff needing to gather all of the needed documents might take more time than I had because my meeting with a new urologist was rapidly approaching. Once I calmed down and took a moment to consider my options I realized it wasn’t such a big deal because I could fax over my request. I quickly drafted a letter requesting my records be sent to another doctor and provided them with his contact information. I followed up my request with a phone call to make sure that the Fax was received and that it provided all of the necessary information they needed. The person on the phone said the fax was fine and that getting the records to the other doctor prior to my appointment shouldn’t be a problem.


Currently, I am still experiencing back/kidney pain. I am treating it as the urologist has recommended, though I seriously doubt that it is muscular. My feeling is that if it were muscular, painkillers would at least lessen my discomfort. I also think it is my kidney because the pain level increases right before I urinate and then lessens afterward. My appointment with a new urologist is in a couple of weeks and hopefully he will have some ideas as to the cause and possible treatment of my pain.


My discomfort with the urologist was so based on his moodiness that I feel that the only benefit I gained from seeing him was his surgical skills to remove my kidney stone. He seemed to have a completely different persona in the office than he did at the hospital. I did not appreciate his assumptions based on his views of my disability or how he spoke to me on a couple of occasions. This experience has given me more evidence to trust my gut in the future and that I as the person living in this body know what I am feeling better than anyone else. As such I have a responsibility to myself to seek out answers. I have also realized that I really should speak up if I do not feel like things are being handled appropriately. I spoke up on the last visit with that urologist in part because I knew that I was not going to be seeing him again so I didn’t particularly care about hurting his feelings or about how what I had to say may effect me further down the road. I felt like I needed to be heard not just for myself but also because of the possibility that what I said will stick with him and help prevent a future patient from having assumptions made about them.