Recap/How Many Warnings Could I Possibly Ignore

At this point, my life was no longer my own. My daily activities consisted of either nursing visits or doctors appointments and absolutely nothing else, because I was told to stay off of the wound. I was very annoyed at the situation but I still chose to ignore all the signs that I should have sought other opinions long ago.

I ignored many signs that I wasn't getting appropriate care mostly because I didn't have much belief in myself that I might actually know something better than the doctors and nurses that were treating me. The first warning I ignored was the weird feeling that I got in my stomach when I first met the 'one week dressing' nurse. I couldn't really put my finger on what was causing my bad feeling about her I just knew I had one. Obviously, we will never know, but it is my belief that if I had just spoken up about the distrust I had in her from the beginning that the majority of the problems I had with this wound would not have happened in the first place.

When I went to the wound care center in the neighboring town I cannot say that I got a 'bad' feeling exactly but I cannot say that I got a good feeling about the place either. I had the first appointment with a doctor that I basically remain neutral about, the problems began the following week. The following week at the wound care center I almost instantly got a 'weird' feeling about the doctor that would be treating me regularly. I distinctly remember calling a relative when I got home from that appointment and telling her that I already wasn't sure that I trusted the doctor. My 'gut feeling' just seemed to be proven more correct the day of the surgery when I had to actually ask to see her prior to the procedure. That goes against everything I had ever experienced and thought I knew about how doctors worked. Although, picking which doctor was going to be treating me was my choice I didn't have enough confidence in myself to speak up at that point. Hindsight being 20/20 that was another bad decision.

Although I had gotten all of these 'gut feelings' about my treatment I was my own worst enemy because I truly had never experienced a doctor really not knowing the best way to treat a patient before. I even chose to ignore nurses that I did completely trust when they told me I should consider a second opinion. I remained my own worst enemy for a very long time. I needed to reach MY breaking point with my treatment before I would even consider moving on. Sadly, my breaking point was very far away.