I have spent approximately the last week pondering the steps I will need to take in order to help resolve some of the medical issues that I am experiencing. Several weeks ago, my boyfriend gave me the email address of his urologist and suggested that I get in touch with him and ask for his thoughts. My therapist echoed his suggestions and still the contact information only sat inside of my wallet. During the time that the contact information for my boyfriend’s urologist was “gathering dust” I was somewhat focused on the issue with my toe.
I went to the wound care center last week so that the problem with my toe could both be diagnosed and then hopefully a treatment plan would be decided upon. When I got to the wound care center, I told my surgeon what had happened and after examining my toe, he told me that I had a subungual (under the nail) hematoma. I told him that I was experiencing some throbbing with it suddenly, and that my discomfort was what prompted me to get it looked at. He said that he was going to remove the toenail to relieve some of the pressure. He then asked the nurse that was with us to get him the supplies he would need. Of course, I was not entirely thrilled with having my toenail removed but I figured that it was going to ultimately make me feel better.
When the supplies were brought in, after asking about my sensation, my surgeon started poking around the sides of my toenail and cleaning it up a little. When he got to one spot I said that it hurt. My surgeon then questioned where exactly my pain was and I pointed it out. That is when his plan changed and he said that he was going to leave the nail in place. I said something at that point along the lines of, “you are”? He said that yes he was going to leave it and that it was actually better to leave it anyway. I asked him how long he thought it would take for it to grow out and he said that it would probably take about a month. When I asked him what I should do about the discomfort, he told me that I should deal with it if I could. I left the appointment with no plans to follow-up and thinking that eventually it would heal.
A couple of hours later, my boyfriend and I were out having lunch and I found myself sinking into an emotional funk. I have a tendency to over-think things and sometimes my thoughts make a minor issue snowball. I told my boyfriend a little of what had gone on during the appointment and that I was confused because the surgeon changed his mind. My boyfriend did agree that it sounded a little odd to him to but that I could just wait the month and if things with my toe hadn’t improved then I could call and ask for another suggestion.
The next day I had an appointment with my therapist and filled her in on everything. Again, she suggested emailing my boyfriend’s urologist and explaining to him what was going on as far as my kidney pain is concerned and that I was emailing him in hopes that I would be able to draw on his experiences in treating patients with disabilities. I told her that it sounded like a wise decision and somewhat agreed to email him soon. I also told my therapist what had gone on the previous day at the wound care center. I told her that instead of leaving the appointment with a plan I left feeling even more unease than I had when I first arrived. I explained to her that in my experience with my wound care surgeon, he had rarely if ever changed his plan in the middle of actually doing something, as he had during my appointment. I also said that it seemed a little odd that he originally was going to remove my nail but then when he changed his mind about that he said it was better to leave it alone. My thought was, if it was better to leave it alone then why was his first instinct to remove it. My therapist agreed that it was a valid question. Being that I failed to question any of this during my appointment at the wound care center, she encouraged me to either call or email my wound care surgeon to just ask him if he would let me in on his thought process. I questioned if she thought I should get in touch with my surgeon immediately or if she thought I should wait the month and see how my toe was doing and get in touch only if the plan didn’t work. My therapist told me that in her opinion I could email him that day or the next day or really, “whenever, I felt like I wanted to feel better about things”.
A few days ago I got up the courage to email my boyfriend’s urologist. After giving him a condensed version of my story, and explaining that I had seen a second opinion that gave the suggestion that my pain was lingering due to my disability, I asked if he could give any thoughts on what was going on. I was surprised to get an email back within twenty minutes. He thinks that I just need to see an urologist that will pay more attention to what is going on and offered recommend one. Unfortunately, the doctor he was planning to recommend is approximately two hours away from my home. I responded, thanking him for offering to give me the name of someone and that I would take the information. I also, asked if he knew of someone that would be a little more convenient for me to get to.
I have not heard back from my boyfriend’s urologist regarding any recommendations but I am hopeful that I will hear something soon. I have not however emailed my wound care surgeon to inquire about his thought process yet. Part of my hesitation is possibly because of the intense trust I have in him and part of it is because I tend to shy away from confrontation, especially with people that I have great respect for. I realize, that asking to be let into his thought process is not confrontational; it is just that I have never really questioned his judgment before. I guess, I will need to think about things farther to decide how I want to proceed in both of these areas.
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