Tuesday, January 22, 2013

Cautious Optimism

I’m sorry that this post has been delayed so long. Things got a little absurd and I needed time to process before they came out in a jumbled mess of emotional chaos. I think I am at the point where I can write somewhat coherently so here we go.



My visiting nurses continued to fill the wound with collagen of one form or another for several weeks after the surgery. It seemed to me that the wound was progressing, slowly but still moving forward. During a visit to the wound care center my surgeon mentioned maybe wanting us to change what we were using, just to jumpstart the healing again. He thought that we should maybe switch back to using the Hydrofera Blue. That was when he asked about how much drainage we were noticing and I told him that it was still heavily draining. At that point my surgeon decided not to put in the Hydrofera Blue because he felt that it might just plug the drainage in the wound and not let it escape. I agreed and went home with instructions to continue using Collagen inside of the wound and the same Tegaderm foam dressing on top of it that we had been using.


The visiting nurses and I continued following my surgeon’s instructions and we were seeing some progress. I was happy to hear that things were going well but was still taking most of the good news with cautious optimism, with an emphasis on the cautious. In the beginning of December I went to my regular appointment at the wound care center and when my surgeon probed inside the wound to see what the depth was he was very happy. Actually, it was one of the few times when I had heard him really “up” about how it was doing. After I laughed about his reaction he told me to just keep doing what we were doing and to come back in two weeks so he could assess my wound again.


During the couple weeks I was waiting to go back to the wound care center my nurses started to become more and more pleased with my wound. The drainage was starting to decrease and the depth started to become less. The next time I saw my surgeon he was also pleased and told me to keep going with the collagen and see him again a few weeks later.


After about a week I mentioned to one of my visiting nurses that I had been thinking. Me thinking? Wait a minute; this could either be really good or really bad. See, as I have said wound care was continuing to take over my life and once in awhile I found myself unable to get wound care out of my head. I mentioned to her that my surgeon was at one point considering changing to Hydrofera Blue but he was concerned about having too much drainage. Based on the fact that we were noticing the drainage had decreased and had been on the collagen for approximately nine weeks I was thinking about mentioning to him that maybe that point would be a good time to switch what we were doing. My nurse agreed with my thinking and told me that it couldn’t hurt to bring it up with him at the following visit.


A couple of days later I had another visit from a nurse, this time it wasn’t the one that I was super comfortable with, but the one that I had been taking almost everything she said with a grain of salt. I mentioned my idea to her and she also told me that mentioning it wouldn’t be a bad idea. That is also when she told me that she had received a communication from the wound care center about my wound. That sort of threw me for a loop because the nurses rarely if ever get communications about me. She then proceeded to tell me that the communication said that my wound had some depth that she was unaware of. What had happened by this point was that the opening of my wound had become so small, my visiting nurses were having trouble getting any instruments inside of it to measure the depth. Visually they thought it was doing well but they couldn’t really be sure. The depth that she told me seemed that it had to have been completely outdated but there was no way to be sure at that point because she didn’t have a copy with her to check the dates. I felt that the communication was outdated because I am all but certain that the number was not one that would have caused my surgeon’s excitement a month earlier. I was going to the wound care center two days later so I intended to mention both the weird measurement communication and my idea to switch to the Hydrofera Blue while I was there.


When I got to the wound care center the nurse took the dressing off and then didn’t really say much of anything. I also, didn’t bother to ask because I knew my surgeon would be in shortly. When my surgeon came in, before I had really even gotten a chance to tell him my idea about changing to Hydrofera Blue or to ask about the strange communication my nurse had received, he came over and examined my wound. Then he said something completely unexpected, “I’m calling that healed”. By then, my surgeon came over to the other side of the bed so he could actually see my face. I have to say I don’t think I gave him the reaction that he was exactly looking for because well frankly, I did not believe it. He asked me if it was something the nurses said that had me feeling a little unsure and I said yes, but before I really got to tell him what exactly she said, we got talking about other things. I think I was so thrown off by that news because I could not get the strange measurement from the communication that my visiting nurse had told me about out of my head.


My surgeon then told me that he wanted us to lay a piece of calcium alginate over top of the wound and then put a dressing on top of it, “just to absorb any drainage and to provide some more protection for it”. He told me to come back a couple of weeks later so that he could be sure. Due to a scheduling conflict I told him that two weeks was not an option so he could choose either seeing me the following week or to wait and see me in three weeks. He then said to come back the next week.


I left the appointment unsure how to feel. While I was happy to hear that my wound was supposedly closed I was also thinking about the times I had heard before that it was closed. The previous times I had gotten very happy very quickly and then it had reopened so this time around I was a little hesitant to get excited. Being that I was so cautious I decided to really only tell my boyfriend what my surgeon had said. I decided that because before when I had told everyone and their mother about it being closed it had reopened and the look on those people’s faces was too much for me to handle so I was going to keep quiet about it for awhile, this time.



Two days later when a visiting nurse came I explained to her what all had gone on at the appointment and what the wound care orders had been changed to. I also, told her that while I fully trust my surgeon while I believe HIM, I did not necessarily believe IT when he told me. She laughed and said that it sort of made sense to her, if that was how I “wanted to spin it”. My nurse then examined the wound and she said that it was doing incredibly well, that it had no drainage but that one part of it may still have been open. I was neither surprised nor upset upon hearing that. Mostly because I just didn’t get the “it’s done” feeling. She then dressed the wound and told me that the other nurse would be out to see me in a few days.



The next nurse that came was the one that I do trust and that I have always had a close relationship with so when she came in and I told her what was going on she had said that she would tell me what she thought. When she looked at it, she said that it is closed. I believed her but still was hesitant, she then said that she poked at it rather aggressively and that nothing happened. My response to this news was “eh, ok, if you say so; but I’m still not telling anyone yet. She laughed but told me that she understood why I was being so incredibly cautious this time around. Before she left, she asked me to call her after I see my surgeon to give her an update, which just happens to be tomorrow. Stay tuned.


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